as someone who is quite trusting and naive i am susceptible to coercive control and i have been in groups that did it. they also ripped me off for millions leaving me destitute. they tried to accuse me of that at one point but gave up, they changed what it is ive done wrong a whole shitload of times. i dont know if its an ever changing fraudulent document or what.
it especially offensive after being used so much to then be accused of doing it myself. even if it is dropped. the worst thing ive ever done to Carrie is respond robustly to her abuse, maybe i said a few shitty things during arguments whatever, so did she. thats not the bar for domestic abuse. weve both done it plenty and both apologised afterwards, i came to view that as part of her. hence i was always forgiving her. she used to say it was meltdowns, i mean she threw so many things around and smashed up so much shit its insane to see her plead abuse to someone else. she accused me of throwing a pot of yoghurt once, i think thats true. i mean there wasnt anyone around and i threw a pot out of frustration, OK!!!
fucking desperate for a charge ! ok they tried to say i didnt clean it up. it feels like a surreal joke. domestic abuse of not cleaning a pot up ? i remember that vaguely, she thinks its to do with sugar. i dont think it was an argument about sugar tho that was something else. lets go into the shit Carrie has thrown around that i cleaned up. omg taking of cleaning up after her ? i cleaned up so much after her i took out SKIPS multiple SKIPS of shit from her house, hoarded shit everywhere. it took me years to actually get to the walls of some buildings in there they were so full up of shit.
but lets talk about her specifically throwing shit. gosh i reckon maybe 20 times at least ? throwing plates pots cups whatever, the thing she uses for the fire. shes smashed shit screaming, put a massive hammer threw the wall i mean she isnt shy to smash up some shit ! and good on her! go on smash it all up! yay! ok so when she did that thats 20 incidents of domestic abuse againt me according to scottish law – throwing shit and having me clean it – fuck ive done that LOADS! and she threw hard things not yoghurt! ive seen her smash multiple phones. not the timid woman shes making herself out to be.
some of the minor arguments we had like one really really short not even an argument just comments really. its the ones where she gets paranoid that she thinks im trying to denigrate her mothering or whatever. i just said damn you give her a lot of sugar. she describes this as a massive fight, it was nothing. i am sure she bellowed shit about it – she was always the one shouting. i kept asking her please can we talk at a lower volume cos of my sensitivity n shit and she would for a bit then default back to bellowing in my face.
what i came to realise later is Carrie has BPD and she used her trauma and her control of my belongings to control me. fuck i am so stupid. I feel controlled by her and her advocate Kirsten Smail to do ridiculous amounts of shit for nothing.