I was recently told i meet the criteria for the algorithm that says I am ‘neuro-divergent’ i.e. I think differently to most other people. Woop de woo big fucking deal. It occurs to me that I don’t really have a disorder, the problems I have mostly relate to how the institutional structures of the state deal with me and the anxiety and depression of dealing with life with my senses turned up to 11. In a world which is not designed for me, the problems have grown and grown as it becomes more and more hopeless and you repeat the same shit round and round. They say autists learn to be outside of our bodies at an early age because they are quite overwhelming, so the world inside grows. If i was able to thrive in a peaceful environment I could flourish and I think even dumb ass neuro-typical people could enjoy the output of what i was made to do (music). (lol)
Here is a nice infographic I was sent the day after I had this burden lumped on me.
They say Satie, Mozart, Kubrick, Einstein and Edison were all autists yet the DVLA regard it is a driving disability and demand you tell them with a threat of a £1000 fine. I have ridden extremely high powered motorbikes for over 20 years, with only two very minor incidents both of which nobody could have avoided. Some autists report a feeling of ‘omnipresence’ when driving, knowing what other drivers are going to do before they do. Some are able to focus to deep level and have a highly tuned awareness, ie they are better drivers than Neuro-typs. It shocked me that I have so many things in common with other autists:
How dare they call my brain a disorder, A person with a disorder thinks:
- nuclear weapons are cool
- defunding disabled people to pay for bankers cocaine is cool
- selling weapons to Saudi is all cool
- Universal Credit is OK
- setting up a monstrously large surveillance system that records everything everyone does all the time to try and catch people that hate us because we killed their families is great
- going to war for corporations is a good idea
As time goes on, the corporatisation of everything has made it impossible for people like me to interface with any kind of institution that tells me to do something. Corporatism has created such an imbalance that real peoples lives are treated according to corporate agreements. Profit motive comes before life. Behaviour is restricted to more and more of a narrow bandwidth. the state is allowed to discriminate and torture you if it wants, yet if you employ commonly used swear words used for the lower classes to express emotion – you are abusive and it may legally persecute you even more! Roughly 1% of people fit the DISCO algorithms criteria and they say many more are ‘undiagnosed’. If I can get to 46 without knowing or being ‘diagnosed’ it would suggest so.
Our human attempts to categorise the infinite complexity of the brain through a questionnaire seem as pointless as a fish flapping its fins to walk. you see what I did there? no. ok never mind. It seems to me that the human race should be changing its behaviour to allow for a larger spectrum of difference. It seems to me that this narrow bandwidth of acceptable behaviour within the current dominant culture is discriminatory against autists fundamental need to speak their authentic truth. Dr Stephen Porges says autism could just be the next step our brain is taking in evolving but the software isnt quite right yet. He describes ‘neuro typical’ humans as having ‘old software’ which is an interesting concept. What strikes me as weird is the human race has to invent a word for something that is obvious anyway – all humans are different, of course! You don’t need the word ‘neuro-divergent’ – you need to open your minds.
The words ‘Neuro-Typical’ and ‘Neuro-Divergent’ are words designed to remind people not to be bigots.