Fuck Epic Games and Fuck Apple

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Hello, today it is my pleasure to add to the chorus of numbskulls spaffing their drivelling noise into the internet by saying Fuck Epic Games and Fuck Apple. I am particularly up for a nice cathartic keyboard rage this morning. Better it spew out onto this page than bother me in real life. Now its your problem, not mine.

Epics payment model involves using a psychologist to addict children to their game by tying money to emotional expression. Simply put, they are cunts.

30% is 1984 and 12% is merely capitalism.

Now these two billionaire companies would like the poor to fight out their issues in some kind of weird fake battle.

Epic Games now have a ‘crowd of 6 year olds raising their fists in defiance’ ((c) Kris Weston 2020) at the mighty Apple persecuting the downtrodden underdog, Epic Games. Personally, I cant see any difference between them except in percentage of commission. Epic coin it from fortnite, they are valued at $17.3 billion. This argument is actually about two billionaire companies having a tantrum.

You can even buy a fucking hat to fund this mighty battle.

buy a fucking hat you mug

The #FreeFortnite guff is obviously bullshit to us adults, but the thing that annoys me is they are manipulating kids with it. The game is supposed to be free but by starting playing with my friends kid I somehow have ended up spending 150 quid on it over a period of 4 months through a combination of being a soft twat and just being generally stupid ( i bought two copies of the game for us before i realised there is nothing in the game you buy other than GFX – i assumed i was unlocking some levels of some kind. doh.) Then i got addicted to playing with the kid, loved it ! got myself a few skins for a laugh, the kid wanted every skin ever, and hey presto ive spent 150 quid. God knows how much you could spend if you really got into it, there is no limit to it. The price of the skins is HUGE. i had to nip that in the bud.

Fuck Epic Games. But lets not stop there. Fuck Apple as well. 30% for a storefront is insanity. Somehow, these flashy pieces of web application seem to blind people to whats actually happening. All they do is provide a payment gateway and a download. If that is the main or even sole point of entry to the market i think its unreasonable for a company to start off taking a 30% hit just to able to sell something. When they whinge about server costs, they should pass the bandwidth over to the seller. In Epics case they do anyway, but that doesnt mean that Epic arent cunts.

In my opinion when a market or company gets too big, capitalism ceases to work in a much more obvious way than normal. The method of huge companies strong-arming control over the product outlet in multiple markets creates global monopolies that are harmful to us. Something like a communication network or storefront becomes too important and useful for the human race to trust to a profit driven group of people and should be forcibly taken and open sourced, globally free. Thats why these things should have been built into the internet itself, they tried at the beginning but it is now relegated to stuff geeks do.

Both of these companies can fuckoff. Apple can especially fuck right off for not even understanding how emagic designed logic audio. They bought a good product with a solid design ethos and proceeded to fuck it up from every angle you possibly could. Fuck Apple.

Right, now back to playing fortnite…

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